


We Will Heal

by La_Belle_Etoile



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Elf Culture & Customs, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fanfiction, I'm Sorry Tolkien, Miscarriage, My First Fanfic, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 18:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16645106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/La_Belle_Etoile/pseuds/La_Belle_Etoile
Summary: Post-Celebrian.A story of misunderstanding, mistakes, and the eventual mending of two broken hearts. Our main character, Almaria, frightened, hides a secret from her love and the rest of Rivendell. With the help of Arwen and Lindir, her secret is safe. However, misunderstandings and assumptions bring out the worst in both Almaria and the elf lord Elrond. How can they possibly reconcile and will they need a little help along the way?





	1. The Elleth's Secret

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't the first fanfiction I've ever written, but it is the first complete one that I've posted online. The idea came sort of out of nowhere and I wrote this between 11pm and 3am on a Saturday night. It might be terrible, but it might be good. It's a bit unconventional and I think Elrond is slightly out of character in his anger but he's half human so who's to say. We know Thranduil can throw some mighty fits. Anyway, feedback is greatly requested and accepted. Thanks!

Almaria

I could feel my heartbeat in every part of my body. Somehow I knew, but I was still not prepared for the truth. When the healer told me, I went into a state of shock. She, of course, informed me that I should try and avoid doing that. I gave no promises in my thoughts but only nodded. I guess I shocked her with what I said next.

“This will be our secret.” I whispered. She stared at me, eyes wide. I could only guess she was wondering why I wouldn’t want to tell him. I couldn’t tell him. How could I? He’s already had a wife in the past and children currently. In fact, I consider Arwen and myself to be very close. We’ve never had a relationship much like friends, though. It was always been more like a teacher and student. Arwen herself has admitted to seeing me as a guide. I’ve always been honored. Still, this particular time it was not planned. He and Celebrian were at least betrothed. He and I haven’t even planned for marriage, yet we’ve spoken about it.

“But my lady, shouldn’t we inform Lord Elrond immediately?” She hesitantly negated. I shook my head. It’s unheard of for an elven child to be born out of wedlock.

“No.” I said seriously, my voice dropping. Her eyes became frightened, and I’d realized what I’d done. “Not yet at least. I need to figure some things out”. She nodded and bowed as I left. I walked slowly down the hall. I can’t tell him. I don’t even want to know myself. Once again I’ll mention that we’ve not even been wed yet. I didn’t think we would be soon. Elves don’t remarry except for odd cases of usually both elves’ partners dying before returning to the undying lands. I swallowed thickly. I need to calm down. I can’t let anyone know something is wrong. No one.

 

I came to Rivendell from the Greenwood many years ago. I was originally sent as a messenger of sorts, the most trusted in the kingdom. I was a warrior through and through since I was a child. That was before I became a warrior specifically for the Elven King Thranduil; before I worked at his side. I could stand up to even him in a sword fight. I’d say our bouts are around 2,347 to 2,349, but who’s really counting? Either way, I’m disciplined, intelligent, stealthy, and have the will and self-control of a true soldier. So why is this slowly making me go insane?!

I sat outside, overlooking the waterfalls. Galadriel and Celeborn are coming. Soon. Galadriel is going to notice, and I’m sure of it… and that’s the thing I’m most afraid of. I’m not Celebrian. I’m just not. I’ve met the Lord and Lady of Lothlorien, of course. Many times as a soldier from Greenwood, when it was called that, I would bring news from Thranduil to Galadriel and Celeborn. She knows what has transpired that brought me to Rivendell. She knows what transpired that gave me a reason to stay. It’s not common for elves that have known the heart sickness to love again. I never expected to find love in this world or the next. It’s like the planets were aligned that night that I arrived here. One thing led to another and eventually it became known to all that Elrond and I loved each other. I think just about everyone else knew before we did, and that includes the Lord and Lady of Lothlorien.

I sighed for the 20th time and stood, prepared to pace in my chambers again.

“If you keep sighing like that, you’re going to lose the air from your lungs.” I whipped around to find Arwen standing at the entrance to the small balcony. I huffed a breath of relief and grabbed onto the railing that separated solid ground and a fall to my death. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t Arwen.

“My stars, Arwen, don’t do that! You nearly gave me a heart attack!”. I reprimanded her, but not overly harsh. She smiled.

“It’s okay. I know you’re stressed about Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn coming to visit”. She came to sit next to me. We both sat down.

“You know she is your grandmother, Arwen. You can call her that. I’m perfectly aware of who she is”. I reminded her. She nodded.

“She is indeed… for all four of us”. She whispered. I slowly glanced over.

“Four?” I asked, dropping my volume immensely and staring straight into her eyes. Behind obvious nervousness there were other emotions including excitement and happiness. I know I can be quite frightening which is why she’s trying to keep her excitement hidden.

“You used telepathy on me didn’t you?” I hissed. She once again nodded. I rolled my eyes.

“When are you going to tell father about the baby?” She asked a little too loudly for my taste.

“I don’t know.” I replied quickly. “I don’t think I have it figured out yet.” I began feeling sick. This anxiety was getting to me pretty badly.

“Grandmother isn’t going to hate you for loving Father. I believe she’s happy that he does not feel sadness any longer”. Arwen placed a delicate hand on my shoulder.

“I’m a soldier, princess, not a noble. I’m barely of enough status to be in your father’s presence for any reason other than business. I’m certainly not anything like Celebrian… You know I remember her well...”. I felt sadness begin to consume me, not only because I’ve always felt inadequate but also because I really do remember Celebrian well. I remember her before she and Elrond were married. I knew her long ago. We were not friends, but there was something between us that the both of us could sense. It was like looking into a reflection of my soul and I could feel that she thought the same. Where as she was fair with silver hair and blue eyes, I was somehow gifted with black hair and green eyes. My features are uncommon for my ancestors which make me feel special and unique.

“What was she really like, Almaria?” Arwen asked, feeling brought back to Middle Earth.

“She was everything you’ve ever heard and more, Arwen. There was something about her. It’s like I knew her even though we never spoke a single word to each other. Every time I would encounter Galadriel and Celebrian, I would feel a sense of familiarity even though it was always overcome by inferiority. But, i’m just a soldier from the Greenwood, so what would I know?”. I replied with a wink. She could always just look into my mind, but she knows I hate that.

“You don’t have to be my mother to be the mother to my sibling, Almaria. You’re everything a young elf could need. I’m glad I have you here if I cannot have my real mother.”. Arwen admitted. My jaw dropped in shock. She’s never called me anything close to a mother to her. Has she felt this way all this time? I brought her into a hug.  
“Thank you, Arwen.” I whispered. She hugged me tighter. I almost shut my eyes… but I saw a shadow move behind a corner. “HALT!!” I shouted, scaring the ever-living out of Arwen. I darted with lightning speed to the shadow and pinned whoever it was against the wall. I huffed when I realized who was eavesdropping.

“Lindir?” Arwen asked for me. He looked terrified so I let him go.

“How much did you hear?” I asked him. He became red and then deathly pale. I knew that meant he heard just about, if not everything. “The both of you must not tell anyone! No one can know! Especially not Elrond! Especially not Galadriel! Am I understood?!” I whispered my orders at the both of them. The nodded feverously. I straightened out one of my many dresses that I’m still not very used to wearing.

“I’m sorry, my lady. I didn’t mean to alarm you or hear anything that I did. I was just merely passing through and did not want to interrupt you and Lady Arwen.”. Lindir said apologetically. I shook my head.

“It’s not a problem, Lindir, really. I’m just very on edge, and it’s hard not to lose my composure at times. You know, with my background as a King’s guard.” I admitted. We all exchanged various apologies, and they swore not to tell anyone. I trusted them.

 

Arwen has been accompanying me to the healers, and Linder has helped me in various ways from coming up with alibis to distracting Elrond to hide everything from both my dear Elrond and Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel. I blocked my mind from her intrusion which I’ve noticed her looking at me strangely for. I’ve been practicing doing this for military purposes, and I never expected to use it like this. It’s an old trick. We had a lovely dinner the night they arrived and even I could see that they accepted me as part of their lives now. Still, there’s something that kept me from revealing my secret. I had to do something quickly or think of something before the signs become impossible to look over.

 

“How long are we going to keep sneaking around like this for, My Lady? You’re running out of time!” Lindir whispered and I shushed him.

“Not much longer, probably. I just have to do this for my checkups and nothing more.” I whispered back.

“I’m pretty sure my lord is becoming suspicious. You’ve been pushing him away more and more recently.” Lindir revealed. I stopped mid step and turned to him.

“Have I really?” I questioned. He confirmed. I really hadn’t noticed that I’d been doing such a thing. Now that I think about it, I have been a little more to myself and we haven’t been as loving as of late. I felt sadness. I suddenly missed my love dearly. I almost teared up.

“I’ve seen the lord’s face when he heard the news of his children. I can’t imagine him being anything less that over the moon when he hears that he has another little one on the way.” Lindir said comfortingly, placing a hand on my upper arm. I had no idea that my pause had given someone… or two… enough time to catch up to us.

“Thank you for being so kind to me, Lindir. I know all of this is hard for you as well. You shouldn’t have to go through this just for me.” I apologized and began walking again.

“Why wouldn’t I? You know I’d do anything for you, Almaria.” Lindir replied, using my name which I preferred.

“If I had to sneak about with anyone, Lindir, I’m glad it’s you.” We smiled at each other and continued down the halls. With Arwen and Lindir as friends, one couldn’t wish for much more.

-Narrator-

The two following Lindir and Almaria glared at the retreating elves. Elrond had thought for some time that his love was acting strangely, but had no idea it came down to this. Galadriel had just so happened to be thinking the same and was actually beginning to become concerned when she ran into her son in law in the halls. The followed the sound of Almaria’s voice which led them to the elf maid in question and the servant Lindir. They saw the smiles the two shared and heard the sweet words. Elrond, instead of following, walked away staring at the ground the entire time. Galadriel looked between the two. She could read her son in law’s mind, but not that of the woman he loved. She, as any mother would, became furious.

-Almaria-

I sat in my… our… Elrond and I’s bed and thought through what the healer told me. I was already beginning to show because of how skinny i’d become. I needed to eat more, I needed to get rid of unwanted stress, and I needed to tell Elrond. How would he react to have another child? One out of wedlock no less… how would Galadriel and Celeborn react? Would they see the child as their grandchild or just as their son in law’s child? This was much more serious a situation than any being could fathom. In the world of Men, maybe this wouldn’t be so strange.

I missed Elrond. He’d now been so caught up in whatever business the Lord and Lady had really been here for that I haven’t been seeing him. As if on cue, the door opened and he strolled in in a black robe with silver embroidery. It was always one of my favorites. I smiled. I felt the excitement in my stomach turn into butterflies.

“You’re back early!” I grinned and walked over to meet him halfway for a hug. I desperately needed one at this point. Instead of embracing me, he just gave me a cold, tired look and walked past me. My smile fell. I dropped my arms and frowned. It hurt my heart. I looked over my shoulder. He stood at the window.

“Elrond? Is everything alright?” I asked softly, not wanting to anger him. I hated seeing him angry. I do believe it’s the only thing I fear. He didn’t turn around or move. He simply spoke.

“When were you finally going to tell me?” He asked. His voice was rough like he was holding something back. I tensed up and backed away. There was a blackness emanating from him that frightened me to my core. I’ve never seen an elf’s aura turn black for a long time… Not since the late King of Greenwood… My heart thumped at his words. How did he know?! I closed my mind off to Galadriel, I had only three others who knew and were all sworn to secrecy, and I was not showing enough yet for anything to be even suggested! Now was the time for panic.

“I was going to, I swear. I just didn’t exactly know how or when and when Lady Galadriel-”

“You were going to wait until after they left to tell me?!” He exclaimed as he whirled around in place. His robes billowed menacingly. I jumped.

“I didn’t know how to! I wasn’t sure how to accept the fact myself. I swear I wasn’t trying to hurt you; I just needed some time to think and-”. He cut me off again.

“Weren’t trying to hurt me?! What is that supposed to mean?! How could you not accept this?! How could you even imagine you could keep this from me?!” He practically roared as he closed the distance between us quickly. I backed away just as quickly but ended up having nowhere else to go. In fear and out of pure instinct, I put one hand up to stop him at his chest and the other on my stomach to protect it. His eyes were black. The brown that made my heart melt every morning and night was gone and replaced with blackness. I was beginning to hyperventilate. This was a new part of him that does not often come to light.

“I didn’t think you would be this angry!” I exclaimed. I had so much pressure on his chest that I was sure it hurt both of us, but I had too much adrenaline flowing to be sure.

“Please don’t hurt me!” I screamed out of nowhere.

“Hurt you?” He barely whispered. The words were barely on his breath. “Haven’t you hurt me enough? I saw you in the healer’s hall the other day. I heard What he said to you and what you said to him. It was only a matter of time.” He growled. My heart was breaking. Lindir was wrong. He wasn’t happy at all.

“So what now? Now that you know… “ I questioned him, my heart threatening to jump out of my chest. He paused and blinked a few times.

“Do you think you’re stilled allowed here? In my home? In my chambers?” Elrond questioned in a hard voice. My heart stopped. My stomach dropped. My blood was cold. It was as though I was no longer in my own body. I stopped breathing. I felt the tears too late and was too slow to stop them. Suddenly I was having a panic attack.

“Almaria? Are you still here?” The door opened suddenly to reveal Lindir. He froze at the sight of Elrond furious and murderous and me, tears streaming, hyperventilating, and in a protective stance.

“She won’t be for long.” Elrond replied and walked away towards the center of the room and stopped. Lindir was flabbergasted. I watched him reel back.

“Have you told him about the baby?” Lindir asked me. I didn’t have a chance to reply.

“She didn’t have to. I heard everything. She’s banished from Rivendell until the end of the days of Elves. You can join her if you wish.” Elrond snapped venomously. That broke me to pieces. I was no longer frozen. I felt trapped. Every chemical in my brain was screaming at me to run. Lindir was blocking the door. I only realized I was sobbing when I needed to breathe. Not thinking, I pushed past Lindir. I think I knocked him onto his back. I began running. I looked back and saw the two arguing, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying. I’ve never seen Lindir yell at Elrond before. I kept running, dodging corners and pillars. I wasn’t sure where I was going, but I was panicking and not able to think straight at all. My running came to a grinding halt at the last hallway before the exit to the courtyard. I don’t know how I made it here without thinking, but I would have been glad I did if it were not Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn directly in my path. Both appeared incredibly shocked. Still in my panic, I was looking around furiously for an escape. The only one was the over the railing which would lead me to fall completely off the edge of a cliff. I was trapped now. I saw Lord Celeborn ask if I was alright. I didn’t have the sense to close my mind off at all and I forgot about Galadriel’s power. I didn’t realize she was inside my mind until she gasped.

“Almaria… Please don’t run away… “ She said softly in my head. She stepped closer to me, and I backed away. I had no control over my body. “Almaria…” She sounded sad, “You don’t have to run away. Elrond didn’t mean any of his words. He does not understand… “ She tried getting closer, but I was just too scared to listen. I couldn’t comprehend what she was saying. I had no idea what she was talking about even though it made so much sense. My head was not rational anymore. Suddenly footsteps were coming from behind me. I back into the guard rail. I clutched it so tightly that the stone began to crack. To my right were Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn. To my left stood Elrond and Lindir. They were all equal distance away from me. Anyone could see that they were nowhere near close to me, but it felt like they were way too close. All looked equally as sad and frightened but none more so than I must have.

“Stay away!” I screamed. “Don’t come any closer! All of you stay away!” I screamed and screamed through tears and sobs. I felt myself get weak. I saw shadows everywhere and felt so much fear.

“My love. My light. My star. My dear, please come here. Come here. No one is going to hurt you, my sweet.” Elrond said softly, holding his hands out. I was confused and scared as well as heartbroken and crushed. I didn’t move. My legs almost gave out but I managed to bring myself back up. All of them lunged forward, ready to catch me but stopped when I gained control again.

“Almaria, get away from the edge. You’ll get hurt. You need to sit down.” Lord Celeborn interjected. The sound of footsteps to my left spooked me, and I shifted to the right. Lindir had tried coming closer but stopped.

“She trusts me. Let me try.” He told Elrond. His hands were up in defense. I screamed again as more sobs tore through me. It seemed like things made a 180 degree change that made no sense. I leaned with my left side on the railing, my hands clutching the stone and my head resting on the back of my hands. I couldn’t help it. My heart was just crushed to pieces.

“It’s okay, my lady. Everything is okay now.” He tried his best.“I told him everything. You’ve done nothing wrong.” I shook my head. I know he tried because I trusted him, but my heart was burning so badly.

“What could you have said that he didn’t already know?” I made my first coherent thought. “What’s so different about it coming from you than from me?!” I was getting angry. Suddenly, the stone was moving. I’d done so much damage to the stone that I broke the rail entirely. My senses kicked into gear and grabbed the pillar, my toes keeping me on the edge of the cliff. I almost fell. I stared down at the rushing water and stone beneath me. There was nothing between oblivion and myself. There were bridges over the river, but none directly under me, though one was very close. I don’t think I’d even be able to survive that fall if I did. I was mesmerized. I heard my name again. I looked up. Suddenly, I wasn’t hyperventilating anymore. I wasn’t crying. Everything was slightly blurry.

“Almaria. Please. Please come here. You’re going to get hurt. My starlight, please come back to me. I’m sorry for what I said to you. I should have never said any of those things. I was horrible to you, and there’s nothing I can do to take it back. I know that… but please get away from that ledge.” Elrond slowly said getting closer. His voice was cracking. I still had tears in my eyes but I could see that he did too. I couldn’t move because I was so scared that something else would break. All of a sudden, as if I was kicked, a sharp pain in my stomach had me lurching, grabbing onto my midsection, letting go of the pillar, and doubling over. I heard shouts and a loud ‘NO!’ as the wind brushed my face. I didn’t realize what was happening until I snapped completely out of my trance and realized I was falling. There was someone on the bridge below me.

“ARWEN!” I yelled as loud as I could. She looked straight up in horror. It was like everything moved in slow motion. We reached out to each other. I felt her fingers brush mine as if we were parting slowly and softly. We stared into each other’s eyes. Time began again as I plunged into the water.


	2. Revival

-Narrator-

Elrond, Galadriel, Celeborn, and Lindir were staring over the edge in horror. They watched the last exchange between Arwen and Almaria before the former in her new white gown plunged into the river. For Elrond, it was also like time was slowing down. He watched her disappear into the blue water. Any hope any of them had had been crushed when the blue water was slowly stained with red. They couldn’t believe it. None of them could. Elrond and Galadriel felt it the worst. They misunderstood the situation. They didn’t come to her with an open mind. Galadriel was the one who convinced Elrond to banish her altogether. Elrond thought to banish Lindir as well. The elf lord didn’t even fathom that the baby she was trying to protect was his. When Lindir all but attacked him about it, he realized how stupid he was. He’d never seen his right hand like that. It was like the elf became something like a demon with how angry he was. This was no joke, no lie. This was his friend that was just banished for being afraid. Elrond rushed out of the room in pursuit of his starlight immediately. Lindir followed. Galadriel was horrified when she saw the past through Almaria’s mind and learned the truth. Celeborn stood helpless for the first time in his life, unable to truly comprehend what was happening before him due to sheer denial. They all watched the blood stain the blue water. The river was not shallow, but it was not so deep either. Elrond was the first to descend the cliffside halls, the other three in towe. Arwen was frozen on the bridge, hearing her father cry out in agony. 

They eventually came to the riverbank, terrified to find her bloody body on the edge, but there was nothing. There were no signs of Almaria in the river besides her blood that was being taken away. The four cried on the bank while Arwen cried on the edge of the bridge. As news spread, all of Rivendell began to cry. They lost their Lady for a second time, but this time they also lost an elfling that never even got a chance. 

-Almaria-

I opened my eyes and saw that I was underwater and holding my breath. The river was taking me past the halls of Rivendell. I swam with it and held my breath. I would be able to reach the surface not far past the valley. It felt like ages as I watched Imladris disappear. 

Finally, I surfaced, taking a huge breath. I pulled myself to the bank. It was rough, I was in pain, and I was exhausted, but I did it. I lied there for a while. I was there so long my gown had dried completely. I lifted myself off of my stomach and looked down. My entire lower half was drenched in blood. My dressed was stained completely. I didn’t need a healer to tell me what I already knew. I felt the emptiness. There was nothing there anymore. I wasn’t sad. I wasn’t regretting anything. I was bitter and angry. I glared at the blood. Who knows where… it actually ended up. Must be somewhere in the river. 

I stopped those thoughts. I was now alone again. I was alone in the middle of the wilderness with no armor and a blood stained gown. I was bound to attract some foul beast. Especially when I ended up where I planned to go. I have no one to call my own, no home, no longer anything that tied me to Elrond or Rivendell. Though my heart aches, I knew it was time to return home. To Greenwood. To Mirkwood. 

 

I travelled on foot for what must have been days to weeks until I came to a stop at the entrance. I bowed to the statue of our late Queen and felt a surge of magic. The forest still knows me. At this point, there was nothing that could make me happier. I was still welcome here. However, I saw shadows everywhere. This forest really has become infested. The hidden path opened and the defences of the forest moved aside. I made it a few miles in before a squad of scouts descended from the trees. 

“You will take me to King Thranduil immediately. I expect no trouble from any of you if you know what’s intelligent.” I barked the order as I once had. They lowered their weapons in shock. One lifted his hood. I recognized him as well as he recognized me. 

“Captain Almaria? Is that really you?!” The young Silvan elf whispered in surprise. I nodded. “Oh my Valar. Men! We need to get her to the palace! Quickly!” He ordered. Two of the guards helped me as we made our way to the palace. 

“Thank you.” I mumbled. I could sense their worry, but none of them chose to speak. 

 

I overheard the same elf that recognized me send for the king with the highest level of urgency. It seems like I’m still respected around here. I was helped into the throne room. At first, Thranduil appeared indifferent. 

“What is this?” He asked, sounding a bit disgusted. Before the elf from before could say anything, I used my own strength to walk unassisted with my head held high. When I got halfway through the room, Thranduil stood quickly. I heard him gasp.

“Almaria?” He breathed. I slowly dropped to my knees. I did so out of respect and also because I’m not sure how much more my legs could take.

“My King.” I bowed. He didn’t miss a beat, and he let his cold, calculating composure drop. 

“Oh my Valar.” He cursed under his breath. “Get healers, quickly!!” He yelled at someone. “Find a change of clothing and run a bath in my chambers! You two get some food and wine and bring it to my chambers as well!” Thranduil was barking orders left and right. I chuckled. 

“All this fuss over me, old friend? This is all so out of character. Have you missed me this much?” I forced out. I hadn’t slept since that day and I’ve had nothing to eat or drink. I was still in my blood stained gown. Thranduil rushed down to my side. 

“Almaria what happened to you?!” He almost commanded me to answer but knew somewhere that it was best not to. He knelt to my level and held me up by my shoulders. The servants and guards were freaking out as much as elves could. “Never mind that! Come here.” He changed his mind and surprised me as he lifted me into his arms. 

“Thranduil, what on Middle Earth?! You can’t just do that! I’m filthy! You’re going to ruin your robes!” I scolded him. His face was hard. I could see a lot of thoughts flashing in his eyes. He wasn’t showing quite how much he was holding himself together. It was taking everything for him not to run like everyone else. The king has to remain composed, after all. 

“When I told you to return one day, I did not mean for you to show up in this state, Mellon. You are going to tell me everything after the healers tend to your wounds.” Thranduil demanded, carrying me delicately in his arms. “And I care much more about your health at this moment than any robe I could own.” He mumbled. I smiled up at him. We said nothing else as he burst into his chambers. I vaguely remembered the way to go as we travelled. It’s been so long. He placed me gently down, and I felt horrible for now ruining his blankets. The dress was taken off of me immediately, leaving me bare. At this moment, I didn’t care. Healers rushed to every side of me, preparing herbs and oils and medicines. I looked past them to Thranduil. His eyes were fixed on the dried blood all over my legs and feet. I didn’t care that my entire body was exposed to my king. We’d seen each other in better situations. He looked up and met my eyes. 

“Thank you, my dearest friend.” I had managed a whisper before I completely passed out. The bed was like a cloud.


	3. My Best Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is short, but I didn't feel that it belonged with the previous chapter or the next one.

-Almaria-

 

I woke up on the same cloud like bed. I thought I was alone until I saw a shadow in the light of the candles in the room. This shadow was not menacing, however. I knew it was Thranduil by the barb-like crown. I looked down. I was completely cleaned and was in a new dress. This one was a much more simple gown. I could tell I was cleaned and healed.

“How long was I asleep?” I asked the silhouette. He came to sit on the bed next to me. I could see his face in the candle light. He looked pensive. I wonder what the healers told him.

“You’ve been asleep since you arrived here yesterday. It’s almost midnight.” He replied. I woke up a bit more, feeling my sore eyes.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” I asked him seriously. I know I’m in his bed, but he could have moved me. “Because the former captain of my guard, my best warrior, my most trusted guard, and my best friend showed up in my throne room after decades of not hearing from her covered in blood and filth, malnourished, and dehydrated. Not only that but my healers spent hours trying to heal her only to tell me that her injuries were due to impact, heart-sickness, and… “ He couldn’t even force himself to say the last word. He seemed angry, but I don’t think he was angry at me.

“What happened, Almaria? Please tell me what happened.” He begged quietly. “Lie down with me and I’ll tell you.” I bargained. He smiled for the first time. “We’re not children anymore, Mellonnin.” Thranduil smoothed my hair.

“I don’t see your point, Mellonnin.” I replied. He sighed and went to change out of his day robes and walked over to the other side of the bed to lie down. I then told him everything that happened from Elrond and I falling in love to showing up at the edge of Mirkwood.

 

“I could kill him. I can’t believe this happened. I would not have believed you if you did not show up covered in blood with more than external injuries.” Thranduil grumbled as we ate a private breakfast. I was having a hard time stomaching my food.

“I know. I’m sorry that I didn’t return sooner, my king. Maybe none of this would have happened.” I replied, eating a grape slowly. He watched me for a second.

“You know we’re no longer separated by simple things such as blood when we’re alone. We’ll call each other by our names.” Thranduil sighed, somewhat exasperated. “Thank you for eating with me. I know the heart-sickness is difficult, Mellon, but I will be here to help you get through it. Caring for yourself is the hardest part.” He did his best to make me feel better. That’s something the both of us always did. We would always try and make each other feel strong in times that we were weak. You see, Thranduil is more than just my King and I’m more than a captain. We grew up together. It’s rare for elves to be born in the same decade let alone the same year. We were born only days apart. I was born to one of the higher up families and was thus allowed to spend a lot of time with Thranduil as we aged. Eventually we began to learn from each other and ourselves. He became King and I became Captain. I stood by his side for millennia. He was the one that convinced me to spend time in Rivendell and I can tell that he somewhat blames himself for what happened.

“Does he know you’re here?” He asked out of the blue. I thought about it.

“You know… I’m not even sure if he knows that I’m alive…”


	4. Keep Her Hidden

In Rivendell- Narrator  
  
A shrine was put in place by the broken rail in the entrance hall.  Candles were lit, her favorite dress was placed on the ground, flowers covered the floor and rest of the railing.  A circlet was placed on the hilt of a sword that leaned against the intact railing.  Her sword.  Rivendell was quiet after Elrond’s last cry.  Candles were lit all over the halls for her spirit to find its way.  All of the residents of Rivendell came to pay their respects.  None could bring up the courage to say anything to Lord Elrond who spent most of his days knelt before the shrine.  Lindir tried to take care of any responsibilities that required Lord Elrond.  Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn extended their stay to keep an eye on their son in law.  Arwen and her brothers stayed to themselves mostly.  They all felt like they’d lost another mother.  When the night fell the day after the tragedy, the elves of Rivendell marched down to the river bank and placed a small, specially made for this occasion, boat with the dress, sword, circlet, and flowers.  The small boat was sent down the river.  It floated away as the elves mourned and some cried.  All wore blue because it was her favorite color.  Elrond also suffered the heart-sickness once more.  He felt it worse this time because he blamed himself so much.  Allies of Rivendell sent their condolences, but Lindir was the first to notice that nothing came from the woodland realm.    
  
Mirkwood - Narrator  
  
It had taken much time before Almaria began to return to normal.  Of course, the healers explained many times over that she may never be who she was before.  Her insides were poisoned by loss and were irreparable.  If she had been treated immediately, there may have been some hope.  They removed the unborn as soon as they could and had a funeral on the seventh moon of her arrival.  It was secret and hidden from all eyes except the healers and Almaria herself.  Not even Thranduil was allowed to witness it.  The small wooden box had flowers painted and circled around it.  Almaria herself fired the arrow that set the shrine ablaze.  The three healers vowed to never forget the look in her eyes that night.  Her green eyes reflected the orange flame.  There was sadness and denial in her eyes that barely succeeded in hiding rage hotter than any blaze.  There was no singing that night either.  The head healer noticed that Almaria wasn’t blinking.

“My Lady, are you alright?”  She asked.  Almaria lifted her head to the sky.  The stars shined brightly.  

“Yes. I’m fine. Thank you.” She replied turning to the elf-maids.  She smiled at them, her eyes softer.  “Thank you for allowing me this…  and thank you for all you’ve done for me.  Soon I will be on my feet again.  This time I will not be so weak. ” She vowed. The fire burned behind them as the three left it to return to the palace. 

  
  
Almaria became Captain of the Mirkwood Army once again shortly after she was fully healed.  She trained again with the soldiers and regained her fire.  Thranduil was proud of his best friend.  He had no one but his son at the time of his heart-sickness.  He became bitter which was something he wouldn’t admit to himself.  She didn’t.  She became stronger.  The two were a force of nature, defending Mirkwood and keeping her a secret from anyone beyond the gates of the kingdom.  Legolas grew to like her as well.  At first, he was confused about who she was.  With a quick introduction and an explanation that she was his father’s friend from birth, he accepted her with open arms as the new Captain.  Upon his father’s request, they trained together along with her second in command, Tauriel.  Eventually, she began taking both of them on at once.  The three raced through the forest, slaying spiders and dueling.  It took a lot of convincing for Thranduil to allow her outside the palace doors.  

“You’re becoming soft on us, Captain!” Legolas yelled from a few meters ahead.  He teased and showed off as much as a young elf would.  

“Be careful with your words, little prince! I’m not some inexperienced elfling like yourself! ” She teased back.  Tauriel followed off to the right.  Before their eyes, Almaria vanished.  The two younger elves stood shocked.  They heard nothing move.  They could only hear their own breathing.  Like nothing they’ve seen before, Legolas knocked from the tree branch as his attacker plunged with him and tumbled on to the forest floor.  Once Almaria had Legolas in check, she turned her attentions to Tauriel.  

“Is it true that you trained with the king as children?” She asked her commanding officer. 

“Of course.” Almaria replied, clashing her sword with Tauriel’s knives.  “Just because he was the prince doesn’t mean I couldn’t try to overpower him.  I thought if I became stronger than him that I’d be able to knock him from his throne! ” Almaria grinned as she pinned the young elf-maid. “ You’re doing very well, but you still have a way to go before defeating me single handed. ” She winked.  Tauriel conceded.  Legolas stood from his seat on a stump and dusted his clothes.

“Did you really think you could overthrow my father?” He asked, genuinely curious. 

“I was only a thousand years old, Legolas.  Of course I did. ” She replied, sheathing her sword. “ Eventually, we grew out of our power struggle and became equals.  I became his personal guard and his Captain.  He was my King and one could even say my brother.  Our parents had confidence that we would marry one day, and I would be his queen, but the two of us could never see each other as love interests.  We just didn’t feel that way about each other.  They were okay with that as long as we remained by each other’s sides. ” She began recalling the story of herself and Thranduil.  

“So why did you leave? You sound like you were happy then.” Tauriel questioned.  Almaria sighed.  

“Tauriel, one day you’re going to find love.  It may come unexpectedly.  It may never come in this place.  Mine comes from Rivendell where I spent these past hundreds of years.  Legolas, you were only a baby when I left.  Thranduil had no arguments because he knew what it was like to be in love.  I loved her too in a way much like I feel love for you two. ” Almaria became grim.  This was not a look they were used to seeing.  Thranduil had kept her out of sight for most of her recovery.  

“Why did you return if you found love?” Legolas asked, leaning forward, now sitting again on the stump.  Tauriel also took a seat.  Almaria towered over them.  The two saw pain and suffering in her eyes for the first time.  She looked older in that moment.  She never appeared as aged as Thranduil, but became so very quickly.  “I saw father with blood on his hands the day you arrived.  It was yours, wasn’t it? ” 

“I arrived here very injured. I think your hearts may be too fragile to hear such things.” She began to refuse to tell the story, but they insisted.  She sighed.  Legolas was something like a nephew to her.  Tauriel was the same.  Almaria had learned to open her heart again in her time in Mirkwood.  These were her people.  Her family.  “I was pregnant in Rivendell.”  She revealed, shocking the elflings.  “I tried to hide it.  He became very angry when he found out.  I ran away as fast as I could.  Eventually, I was cornered.  I don’t remember much, but I do remember fear and a pain in my stomach that was unimaginable.  Then I fell.  I fell into the water.  I couldn’t come up until the rapids ceased.  By then I’d known that I lost the child.  I didn’t need healers to tell me that.  I knew the only place I could call home was this forest.  Now I’m healed, and I’ve found peace where I belong. ” Almaria towered over the other two. Their jaws were slack. They had a whole new respect for her. Suddenly, her head jerked. Something disturbed the forest. 

  
  
Almaria stood in silver armor at the base of the throne.  She looked down at the dwarves with a blank curiosity.  Why were they here?  Who were they?  The name Thorin began ringing bells, but she couldn’t seem to remember.  Thranduil locked them in the dungeons, and Almaria didn’t question him.  When they escaped, she joined her guards and did everything to stop them and slay the orcs.  

“Almaria!  On your left! ” She heard and stabbed an orc straight through the skull.  The smallest in the company, a halfling, looked up at the raven haired elf.  He’d heard that name recently.  Gandalf had used it.  He believes Elrond did too.  He’s not much of a know it all on elves, but he’s sure he’s never heard two share the same name.  She looked over to him and found that a shadow had a grip on the halfling.  Their eyes met.  There was something both of them knew that would not come to light for a long, long time. 


	5. After All This Time

-Narrator-

The Mirkwood army was moving into battle for the mountain. Thranduil was set about getting the necklace back from the dwarves. Almaria rode beside him on a horse so white and beautiful it could have passed as silver. Their armor stood out against the gold of their army. Thranduil bargained with the dwarves until he had enough fooling around. They returned to Dale to oversee the army. Almaria was there at his side as his Captain and his advisor. Not like he needed one. Upon seeing her at his side, Gandalf froze. She felt eyes on her and turned to see the wizard standing there. 

“Mithrandir.” She stated. Thranduil turned as well. 

“Gandalf. I’m not surprised.” The King dismounted his elk. He felt himself above everyone, but could not deny that he respected the wizard. Almaria did not dismount her horse. 

“So you’ve been alive all this time.” The old wizard ignored the king completely. “I suppose I’m glad to see you in good health.” He said with a tone that was slightly reprimanding. 

“She is alive and well, Mithrandir. She’s also returned to her place as the captain of my guard.” Thranduil spoke for her. She didn’t much mind that. 

“But is that where you belong?” The wizard intervened. “Should you be here, in the midst of war or sitting in the chair at the table that still waits for you. Nothing has changed since that day. Everything of yours is still there, waiting for you… just like him. Herbs and wines cannot control his nightmares forever, you know.” Almaria looked down. She was frozen in shock. Thranduil was shocked as well by the wizard’s words. He was about to intervene when Almaria turned her horse. Her expression was stern.

“I am the greatest warrior in Middle Earth. I’ve held my place as Captain for many moons. I am loyal to my king and my people and I will defend them as I can. I will also lead them to victory in this war. I belong right here. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Mithrandir, I have some things to attend to.” She shouted in elvish, her horse now galloping through the streets of Dale. Her cape was billowing behind her. 

“I will not allow any more harm to come to her. If you or anyone else cause harm to my captain, there will be consequences.” Thranduil threatened. He mounted his elk and followed her path. Gandalf would not stop there.

 

The war was raging and now everyone knew who their true enemies were. The Men, Elves, and Dwarves made one army to battle Azog and his legions. Almaria saw the blackness of Azog and rushed to do him off first and foremost. She dismounted her horse as there was too much ice. She shouted a curse in Elvish. It was then that she noticed the dwarven prince Thorin. 

“Stay out of this, Elf!” He growled. 

“I don’t take orders from a Dwarf!” She barked back and lunged at Azog, displaying finally her true prowess as a warrior. With her help, Azog was defeated and Thorin’s life saved. The black shadows disappeared from the orc and the dwarf in kind. They bowed to each other. A truce was made. “We don’t have much time. Our people are dying on the battlefield.” She mounted her huge horse, helping Thorin on as well. Her horse, the beast that he was, raced down the mountain. The company was reunited with their king. They thanked her before all of them rushed to finish the battle. She saw Thranduil’s elk and raced towards it. She sliced through orcs left and right, coming to the edge of a cliff where Thranduil fought with her army. Her horse reared and she whipped around. An orc was charging her. She dismounted, her horse ran, and she fought. The weight of the battle caused the earth to crack underneath her. She was sent plummeting once again.

The cliff falling caught the attention of the two elf lords. Thranduil was ready to run for her until two orcs blocked his way. The second, clad in gold, raced to catch her. Instead of hitting the ground, she was caught. When she focused herself, she’d realized who caught her. He looked both joyful and pained. Confused and hurt. Broken and mended again. 

“Almaria. You’re alive.” He didn’t question it. Those words were a statement. 

“Elrond… “ Almaria gasped. 

“All this time. You’ve been alive all this time.” He held her. She didn’t know what to say or what to do. She was frozen in his hold. He did not put her down. Almaria looked over her shoulder and whistled for her horse. Once called, she ripped herself from Elrond’s grasp, speeding away towards Dale. She didn’t know it, but the war was over the moment she killed Azog. The last few orcs of the legions were retreating. Many lives were saved because of her. The elves suffered minimal losses, but every life lost is a crushing blow to the Elven race. 

 

Thranduil’s steed suffered injuries that did not allow him to be able to do more than lie down and rest. Bard offered the army a stay in Dale which Thranduil accepted. He would never admit it, but he’d come to respect the Man. Bard left the tent to tend to his own people. Remaining inside were Thranduil, Almaria, Gandalf, and Thorin. Almaria stayed to the side, choosing to be there for not much of any reason. She sat comfortably in Thranduil’s throne, slouching off to the right. This was not a tactical position due to her view of the door being blocked, but she didn’t much care. Her job was done for the time. Listening to the almost merry politics was a nice change. Thorin and Thranduil still hated each other, but they seemed to be willing to put that aside. Thorin agreed to even give the gems back as a thank you to Almaria for saving his life. Gandalf was very surprised. Suddenly, the cloth door of the tent opened. In walked the Lord of Rivendell himself. The three around the table looked up and Almaria, who was delightfully seated on Thranduil’s makeshift throne, simply glanced over. 

“Ah! Good Evening, Lord Elrond!” Gandalf exclaimed. “May we offer you a glass of wine?” He held up the almost empty bottle. Almaria shook her head, trying not to smirk. 

“I wish to have a few words with Almaria.” Elrond stated, looking past the wizard-elf-dwarf trio. 

“This is a meeting that of which I require my captain’s presence. She will not leave this tent until it’s finished.” Thranduil stood tall, standing directly in front of Almaria. 

“Thranduil be reasonable!” Gandalf scolded. Thranduil snapped.

“She came into my kingdom bloody, broken, and just barely clinging to this world. I will not let her leave my protection again. She’s already pushed her luck and my allowance by coming here with me, but this was a battle demanding the presence of my best and bravest soldiers. She’s the best captain I’ve ever known, the bravest and most intelligent warrior i’ve ever met, and my dearest friend. I don’t know if I can let you take her from me again. She is my closest friend. My dearest friend. She is my family as much as Legolas is my son… and I will not let any harm come to her again. Especially not by him!” The Elven King roared, standing his ground. In that moment they all saw what Almaria meant to the king. She was surprised herself, but understood why he was acting this way. His wife is long gone, and he’s only recently made amends with Legolas before the elfling left to have his own adventure. Thorin’s eyes were wide. It was a scene he shouldn’t have witnessed, but he had to admit that this was an impressive display of loyalty and their bond. The Lord of Rivendell locked eyes with the King. They stared each other down, but the Thranduil was not broken. The other elven lord turned tail and left the tent. It was quiet for some time. 

“It has been a long day for all of us. Why don’t we all take this evening to wind down.” Almaria suggested. To her delight, they all were in agreement. Gandalf and Thorin left the tent, leaving the two elves. 

“Do you need help with your armor, Thranduil?” Almaria asked to which the king requested such politely. They moved slowly, working around the king’s sore spots. Almaria had already removed hers before the soreness set in. Thranduil very un-kingly-like slouched onto his throne. Almaria didn’t think it was possible for the king to slouch any more than she had before and was proven wrong. 

“Almaria, will you pour me another glass of wine?” He asked, holding his hand out. She poured two and handed one to him. They both drank like they had something to celebrate. It wasn’t long before they finished a bottle. Thranduil was ready to open another one. Honestly, Almaria was really not going to argue, but she couldn’t stand to feel filthy anymore.

“I think before we get completely wasted, I’ll go off to the lake to bathe. Will you join me?” She asked. Thranduil shook his head. 

“I’d rather bathe in the dirt before touching that lake water.” The king took another drink. Almaria shrugged and left the tent. She grabbed a small bag from the trunk before she exited the tent and tied said bag to Súletal’s saddle. She sighed. 

“You know, my friend. I do believe the king has lost his mind this evening.” She whispered to her horse. The gigantic stallion huffed, shook his mane, and tapped his right hoof into the dirt. He agreed. The two set off for the lake.

It wasn’t the cleanest water, but it was definitely cleaner than dirt and sweat. Almaria stripped down to nothing after making positively sure that no one was there to see her. She let her braids down and looked over her body. She had bruises and cuts dotting her porcelain skin. Her hip bones were sticking out further than her stomach. She’d definitely been losing weight, but the stress of war had something to do with this as well. She left her clothing on a stump and opened the bag. In it was a small vial of bathing oils and a new dress. This one was colored lavender, but was so pale in tone that it appeared white in the moonlight. It was elegant with a long train and sleeves that reached her toes as they fanned out. It slipped over her head and hung on her shoulders as if by magic. She really liked it. It was a present from Legolas as a peace offering, but she had a sneaking suspicion that Tauriel had some say in the matter. Almaria draped the dress over her steed’s saddle. Taking the vial with her, she stepped into the lake.


	6. Our Last Chance

-Narrator-

Gandalf knocked, or sort of ruffled, the opening to Elrond’s tent. A quiet ‘enter’ from the Elf Lord was all he needed to barge in. Elrond sat at a small table, probably a relic from Dale, and appearing to be signing some kind of paperwork. He was still clad in his golden armor. 

“Is all of that really what you should be doing right now?” Gandalf asked incredulously which had Elrond’s head shooting up. He was not used to Gandalf speaking to him like that.

“What?” the elf lord asked, not quite understanding what was happening. 

“You’re going to let her go just like that?! She’s right over there in the King’s tent alive and well. You should speak to her!” Gandalf paraded about the room, loudly and bombastically verbally pushing Elrond to go. Elrond stood, slapping his quill on the table, causing ink to splatter on the documents. 

“I tried going there, Gandalf, and you saw what came of it. She sat there, on that throne, with no emotion at all on her face while King Thranduil stood there barking like he was her guard dog!” Elrond practically shouted back, becoming quite angry and showing it. Gandalf chuckled. 

“So you’re going to let that stop you? Are you afraid of Thranduil?” Gandalf coaxed the elf lord, trying to get under his friend’s skin.

“Of course I’m not afraid of Thranduil!” Elrond barked back. He hesitated. “... but I know what she’s like. The way she looked up there on his throne was the same look she had when she first came to Rivendell with a message from the king. She had no emotion on her face and she only spoke when spoken to, but she spoke so much with her eyes.” Gandalf nodded. 

“And what were her eyes saying to you, My friend?” The wizard asked. Elrond didn’t waste a moment thinking. 

“She’s tired. Her body and mind alike are exhausted. She has the eyes of one who has seen too much. They’re not as bright as I remember them to be.” Elrond sighed and paced. 

“There’s a storm inside her that she holds back. It may be my fault as well. Behind her arrogance and stoicness, I know she’s hurting. Why wouldn’t she have come back if she felt no pain? Her facade is good but it does not fool me. It never has.” The elf lord admitted in regret. Gandalf smiled a small bit and attempted to hide it from his friend. 

“Is that so? Well, don’t you think she needs someone to heal that pain?” Gandalf leaned on his staff. Elrond shook his head.

“It seems as though Thranduil would be more than happy to watch over her.” Elrond replied bitterly. The wizard nodded slowly, the gears in his head turning.

“Why don’t we go for a walk, Mellonin? To clear your head.” Gandalf suggested as he lifted the curtain of the tent with his staff. Elrond agreed, albeit suspicious of Mithrandir’s tone. They exited the tent and began wandering around Dale. Everywhere there were Men, Dwarves, and Elves. Many were receiving medical attention, some were already healing, and some others were just bandaged up. Everyone was smiling and getting along. There was mourning, but there was also celebration. Friends were made, bonds were created, rights were wronged. The scene was perfect. It was a time for healing now that the damage had been done. That’s exactly what Gandalf was thinking, you see. He was on a mission to fix what was broken. Why did he feel the need to do so? Well, it’s Gandalf we’re talking about. 

Elrond stopped walking suddenly, causing Gandalf to stop as well. He followed his friend’s gaze. Not far ahead, the eleth herself was tying a bag to the saddle of a white horse. She smiled at the creature and placed her nose on his. Elrond sighed. Almaria smiled and giggled. 

“You know, my friend. I do believe the king has lost his mind this evening.” She whispered to the horse. Gandalf reached into his pocket and pulled out a small chest. He handed it to Elrond.

“You may never have the courage again, my friend.” He said as Elrond looked down into the wizard’s hand. The elf’s eyes widened. 

“How did you get that?!” Elrond did his best to stay quiet. He all but snatched it from the wizard.

The small wooden chest with elvish script in Elrond’s handwriting was something that he had made especially for Almaria. What was inside as well was meant for her before the tragedy. Gandalf began to stutter. 

“Well, um.. Oh, nevermind how I got it.” The Wizard shoved the Elf Lord, surprising him greatly. “It’s time for you to give it to whom it belongs to. Ask her!” Gandalf insisted. Before Elrond could argue, Almaria was already trotting off on her horse. She appeared to be heading towards the lake. 

“Gandalf, have you lost your mind! I can’t just ask her to marry me after all this time! The last thing I said to her was that she’s no longer allowed in Rivendell! I’m not going to give this to her.” Elrond argued, putting his foot down. The wizard sighed this time. Elrond may be a stubborn elf, it was his human side, but Gandalf was stubborn as well. 

“My friend. The worst that can come from this is that she refuses. If she refuses, then the outcome of this situation does not change. What have you got to lose?” Gandalf said gently. “But, if she does not refuse…” 

“Alright, alright! You win, Gandalf. I’ll give her the ring. At least if she accepts it as a peace offering then I don’t have to look at it for the rest of eternity.” Elrond grumbled, giving in. Gandalf tapped the end of his staff on the stone ground. A brown horse came trotting up. 

“I knew you would see reason, Mellon! Good luck!” Gandalf replied and handed Elrond the reins. The elf lord stood absolutely bewildered. 

“At least let me return to my tent to remove this armor!” Elrond shouted, but the wizard was already gone. The elf sighed and mounted the horse, heading off to wherever Almaria was heading. 

 

He found her horse by a tree. It’s amazing that the tree would grow here let alone survive the desolation. Some leggings and a tunic covered in mud and blood sat by the roots and a new dress was draped over the horse’s saddle. The white stallion snorted and turned slightly in surprise. Elrond shushed the steed and looked past. The lake was not far away. There was a small figure in the lake, facing the now calm water. The water was up to her hips, the moonlight reflecting on her pale back. He shuddered. The water must have been literally just above freezing. Her hair, black as the night sky, was loose from the braids and ran wet down her back, ending past the water. Elrond didn’t mean to stare, but he couldn’t stop himself. He looked down at the wooden box in his hand. 

‘I don’t deserve her. I can't imagine she would even wish to speak with me.’ He thought to himself. Almaria, seemingly finished with her bath began exiting the lake. As to not see her without consent and for his own sake, he hid behind the tree and prayed to the Valar. 

-Almaria-

I stopped in my tracks at the sight of the brown horse. Now I was on high alert. I did not see where this horse came from and it does not appear than mine cares much for its presence. I would have thought nothing of it if the horse bore no saddle. Where was his rider? I quickly grabbed a towel from the bag and held it to my body, at least covering the front of me. I glanced around seeing no one. Whoever they are must have been quick and quiet for me not to know when they arrived. 

“Who’s there? I can hear you breathing.” I called out. I really couldn’t but there hasn’t been a creature yet that has challenged that statement. I was not prepared for who stepped out from behind the tree. “Elrond?” I couldn’t find any more words to say. I felt more open and exposed than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. 

“Starlight.” He replied, voice tense. We did not greet each other like old friends. 

“What are you doing here? How did you know I was here?” I asked, backing away two steps. Elrond glanced down.

“Never underestimate the meddling of Gandalf the Gray.” He said, staring at his shoes. 

“So I’ve heard. He seems like quite the character.” I replied, not knowing what else to say. 

“Almaria.” Elrond said my name and lifted his head, looking into my eyes. “I’ve said terrible things. I’ve betrayed you.” He said like this was rehearsed. There was pain in his voice. 

“I’ve ruined the trust you kept in me and I’ve destroyed what love we shared.” His eyes were glossy. “...I destroyed the most beautiful thing we could have created together.” For a second, I thought he was going to cry, but he held it in. He stepped forward, his gold cape billowing in the breeze coming from the lake. He got down on one knee and my breathing stopped. “You do not have to accept this, but it was made for you.” He holds up a wooden box with an inscription on it. At a glance it read: I am yours and you are mine from this day to the end of all days. He opened the box and I gasped.

It was beautiful. My heart began beating faster than thoughts could go through my head. Elrond’s hands shook, something I’ve never seen before. Then, there was a small sniffle. 

“I was convinced for a short time that I had the courage to ask for your hand, but now I’m not so sure. I can never fix what has happened and no apologies in the world can take back the things I’ve done. I’ve seen the future many times since and didn't once see your face. I perhaps should have listened to my visions. I know you will not marry me, so I will gift this ring to you as a goodbye from me.” Elrond said in one breath he’d seemed to be holding. I was shocked beyond description. My eyes were beginning to water as well, but I fought the tears back. He took the ring out of the box and placed the small chest on the ground. He held the ring in one hand and held his other out, palm facing up. I panicked and held mine out, palm facing down. He slid the ring onto my hand. It fit perfectly. It was hard fighting the urge to cry. So many emotions were fighting in my heart. Elrond shut his eyes tightly. His hold on my hand was tighter than before. Just then he stood. 

“I will miss you, my starlight, for all eternity to come.” Just like that he was back to his horse, galloping away. My throat was tight, stopping me from making any sounds. I picked up the box and looked at the ring on my hand. There was no holding back my emotions anymore. I felt the hot tears stream down my cold skin. I dressed quickly, not caring what I was leaving behind, and mounted Súletal. We galloped towards Dale, the wind drying my hair and my tears.


	7. We Will Heal

-Almaria-

We made it back in what seemed like much longer than it took to get to the lake in the first place. I dismounted my horse and made my way blindly to where Elrond might be. My luck guided me to a tent where a wizard had just emerged. 

“Gandalf the Gray.” I bowed. Though we’d spoken briefly in the King’s tent, we did not say much more than a hello. I was on duty after all. 

“Captain Almaria.” He greeted me in an elvish way with a hand extending from the heart. “I see you’ve received Lord Elrond’s gift.” He stated, his demeanor becoming darker. I didn’t like that at all. I paused. 

“I was actually going to return it. Something doesn’t feel right about this. I can’t accept this gift. I did nothing to deserve something so beautiful.” I explained. Gandalf sighed.

“Maybe you should keep it then, if you do not feel as though you should.” He replied, sending my head into circles. Damn wizards and their riddles. “I do not think it would be wise to return it, Almaria. He had it made especially for you, you know.” He seemed to be blocking me now. There was something that he was wanting to say, I know it. 

“I know… but something inside me feels wrong, Gandalf.” I tried to make him understand even if I didn’t really understand what I was saying myself. 

“I’ve spoken to Arwen without his presence and with afterwards. We’ve all come to an agreement.” Gandalf said, growing serious. I felt my blood get cold. “He’s going to sail soon.” I was taken back. He can’t possibly be saying…

“Gandalf, what are you saying?” I asked, my voice dropped low. Gandalf hung his head. 

“He’s going to have to. If he does not leave soon, the heart-sickness will not be forgiving this time.” Gandalf replied. My heart stopped. He moved the curtain of the tent. Elrond was already removed of his armor and appeared to be sleeping. I recognized a cloth his hand was gripping tightly. 

-Elrond’s Nightmare-

In every dream he’s had since that day, he was able to reach her before she fell. His grip on her dress was tighter than a Warg’s jaw. He always wakes at the moment before she fell. This time was different. This time, he couldn’t hold on any longer. She fell. 

-Almaria-

Gandalf let the curtain close. I could still hear the sounds of distress coming from the inside. 

“Perhaps sailing to the Undying lands will cease these nightmares.” Gandalf said as though he was pondering. “Or… perhaps… if you would make them stop.” He suggested. I was confused.

“I can’t control dreams, Gandalf.” I whispered. The wizard moved the curtain again, this time shoving me inside. I didn’t know what to do. I silently approached the bed. I’d never seen Elrond in so much pain. I couldn’t let him dream any longer, so I tried shaking him awake. 

“Elrond, wake up.” I whispered. I shook him a few more times. Nothing. “Wake up!” I shouted. Right after, Elrond sat straight up, hyperventilating and wide eyed. 

“Almaria?” He questioned. I nodded. “What are you doing here?” He asked. 

“Gandalf.” I replied. 

“Oh. I see.” He trailed off. I swallowed thickly. 

“I was going to give this back to you. I don’t have the right to accept this.” I said as I began sliding the ring off of my finger. He stopped me.

“It was made for you. It will only be at home with you. Keep it. It will remind you of the gardens.” Elrond appeared to be in a dream like state.

“Would you really have hurt me?” I asked out of nowhere. I’m not even sure where the question came from, but I feel like I had to know.

“What?” Elrond asked, completely confused.

“When you thought… you thought I was having an affair and you rushed at me. What were you going to do?” I asked. That scene played in my mind often. I never knew what would have happened if I hadn’t have shocked him out of whatever he was thinking at the time.

“No. Never. Never in a million years.” Elrond replied without hesitation. “I was unwise in my actions. I was not thinking. I do not know why I didn’t confront you about it before I began jumping to conclusions. I let myself become something that I shouldn’t… Lindir was not holding back after what I did. He was the first to set me straight.” He told the story and shuddered at the memory of Lindir. I almost wondered what the soft-featured elf looked like angry. “When I saw you fall… there was so much blood.” His eyes watered quickly and his words caught in his throat. He did not hold back his tears this time. “There was so much blood and you were gone. We searched for your body for days. Galadriel eventually told me what she saw and heard in your head that day. I’m so sorry.” Elrond began crying. I didn’t know what to do when he moved away. We sat on opposite sides of the makeshift bed. 

“I’m the one that lied to you… If I would have told you immediately when I found out, none of this would have happened.” I was going to cry any second now as well. Elrond shook his head.

“This was never your fault. You could have told me whenever you felt was right. I twisted an innocent conversation into something that it was not… and I accused you of betraying me. I might as well have pushed you off of the cliff.” He said, becoming bitter at the end. “May I ask you something?” He surprised me with the question. 

“What?” I asked, not expecting what was coming next.

“Do you love Thranduil?” He asked, no longer seeming to be crying. I was definitely taken back. 

“He’s my best friend. If you want to call that love, then I suppose, but we’ve never been romantically involved even before I came to Rivendell. After I had returned to the palace, things went back to the way they were. He’s only so protective of me because of… well you heard him say it himself.” I explained. He nodded. 

“I will always love you, Almaria.” Elrond stated, somberly standing and making his way over to me. He held out his arms. “A final goodbye, starlight? Truly our last this time?” He asked. I slowly made my way into his embrace. Immediately, the tears began flowing. “Goodbye, little star.” I was silently crying on his shoulder. “Everyone misses you… especially Arwen. You should go visit them one day. Arwen will probably be leading Rivendell when you see her next.” He said it as though it was said in stone. I was no longer silently crying. I felt his embrace tighten. “Little star, why do you cry so?” I was holding onto the back of his robe tightly, gripping the fabric hard enough to wrinkle it. 

“Don’t go.” I cried into his shoulder. “You can’t.” Elrond shushed me softly, running his hand through my hair.

“I love you, Almaria.” He whispered. I sniffled and sobbed.

“I love you too.” I whimpered. “Please don’t go.” I hid my face deeper into his robes. He held me tightly, holding my head gently. 

“Alright.” He said softly. “I won’t go. I promise.”


End file.
